Black & Kinky Amongst Brown Waves


’tis the season…
December 24, 2016, 12:31 am
Filed under: relationships, self reflection

th

i love the holidays…
because we often make time to connect and reconnect with friends & family.  i have had some great friend dates over the last 2 days and i have scheduled more before the coming of the new year. i’m looking forward to the quality time but also the wonderful hugs because i know some people who give great hugs! touch is so vital and for many it can be scarce.  i found this article moving and true.  the article helped to inform this poem that i started about a week ago, but never finished.  it may still be unfinished, but at a place where it can be shared.

getting touchy
(c) 2016 by margaux delotte-bennett
you intuitively touched all the places where I feel shame
my hairy chin
my never flat belly
up my sides and down my back
soft with excess
your hands knew these areas more intimately than I do

dancing to
caressing from
at times making me want to run

I try to see me as you did
feel the me under your fingertips
no longer tense, but supple
no longer wrong, now perfect
no longer hidden in plain sight

it’s with fright that I realize
this shame was studied
well learned
earned from years of gazing upon
photoshopped curves and complexions
imperfections erased
redefined

but the fine lines of my stretch marks became your map
as you traced
the path to love without reservation
acceptance without clause

it’s what this body
deserved

reminders are always
well placed
well served

th-1

p.s. i had a conversation, that led to a poem, that led to this visual collaboration with a friend.  i meant to share it before, but there is no time like the present! -MDB

15327301_10154707896895758_7015604684235716314_n

Advertisements


happy 2016!
January 1, 2016, 7:44 pm
Filed under: self reflection, women

i woke up on this first day of the year wanting to taste freedom; i guess i was craving independence.  i decided that i needed to make my first pot of soup joumou/ pumpkin soup; a dish that celebrates Haitian Independence, celebrated each January 1st.  you can learn all about it and find the recipe here (i made the veggie version, delicious!).  but i must confess that i’m also a little troubled that the food that was denied before independence became a symbolic stable post independence.  i want liberation to taste new, not just like what you denied me before… there is probably a lot about the folklore that i don’t understand, but these are the questions that danced on my tongue along with the scotch bonnet pepper. i hope that this first day of 2016 brings you the taste of freedom, independence and liberation that you crave, in big and small ways.

to see myself by danielle boodoo-fortune
(to see myself by danielle boodoo-fortune’)

my mermaid year
© 2015 by margaux delotte-bennett

“I must be a mermaid… I have no fear of depths, and a great fear of shallow living.” – Anais Nin

this must be my mermaid year

a fantasy widely known
intermittently believed
linking land and sea

I too
stand at the crossroads
intimately knowing how salt water
uniquely kisses my flesh
puts my pieces back together
smoothed over and misted
like beach glass

though 40 does not seem
particularly
eventful

no crashing waves of responsibilities
just steady waters
cooling trade winds
feeling rooted and settled
and here

but yet and still
I no longer want to be
out in the depths
unanchored
unmoored
bobbing up and around
under blinding skies

I have a siren song that yearns to be sung
just under my skin
in the depth of my womb
shimmering like the water’s surface

a song not of destruction
or misfortune
guiding ships
off of cliffs

but no less drawing in
a calling too
capturing attention
eyes and ears
both feasting

my treasures are blindingly precious
picked with a beachcomber’s
patience and precision
watchful steps
always scanning
ever hopeful

so much has been thrown overboard
no longer of service
or use

so much has been carried away
on the sea breeze
in the stormy gale force winds
forever caught in the ebb and flow

I find myself in this moment
heart bare and vulnerable
flippers flexed and shell adorned
ready
for the next voyage

out at sea

Sea Snail Mermaid by Renee Nault
(sea snail mermaid by renee nault)



december is about reflection and renewal
December 20, 2015, 12:42 pm
Filed under: love, relationships, self reflection

I was at a birthday brunch this weekend and someone said that they were looking forward to some reflection and renewal in the coming weeks. something inside of me said, “hooray! those are the words i’ve been searching for in this time of catching up, connecting, ordering and being still.” I hope that your holiday season is full of what you need, but that deep reflection and renewal are included for you and yours.

this poem is based on a true story and seems to fall under the ‘reflection’ category.  our dreams can teach us so much if we are able to tap into their magic…

be well!

imgres

dream lessons while sleep talking
© 2015 by margaux delotte-bennett

you are haunting me in my dreams
the one I used to love

this morning I had to resist
joining lips to lips
the hushed and hungry whisper I once knew
and listened for
implored me for a kiss

one with the perfect pressure
that even my bones remember
cellular memory
elemental desire

I said no

I was firm

and once again
you wanted to know
why

why I could not give you what you desired
when you requested it

it was always about you
I see that now
I should have seen it then

and even my dream self knew my no
was a lie
denying what I used to
need
cellular desire
elemental memory

wants and needs are seldom
synonymous

your dream self wrote
something in the palm of my hand
closed it tight
I still don’t know what it was
or could be

yet as I awaken
my hand is open

it is open
like my heart
to new possibilities
that no longer
revolve around
you



Happy 2014!
January 1, 2014, 2:15 pm
Filed under: self reflection

Happy-New-Year-2014-Celebration-Wallpapers_1
greetings to one and all!

I do hope that this new year open up even more possibilities in your life.  In the new year I am not sure what form this blog will take on, but it will be shifting from the weekly post format.  it has been a pleasure to share my musings with you and I will continue to do so, but I’m not sure about the frequency in 2014.  Here is a piece that I have been working on for a while and when i put it in the context of the changing year, something finally clicked.  enjoy!

musings from my vision board
© 2014 by margaux delotte-bennett

2013

I wanted to capture you

scatter crumbs that led straight into my heart

disintegrating memories from the past
returning to stardust and ash

aiming to make your tracking my business
by setting up traps in your path

so that as moments nestled into the warm
dark
corners

CRACK!

caught and secure
claimed and made still

the calendar paused just for me

2013
I wanted to capture you

with a lasso on the wind
I wanted to spin
the rope
up and around my head

feel it burn my fingers
as it glides through space

stopping your forward motion
towards another time

not allowing you to pull too hard
or far away
within my twisted twine

but how can I capture when I refuse to be caught?

and of what use is
captured time?



poem of the week: things you must do
September 21, 2013, 6:15 pm
Filed under: self reflection

things you must do
(C) 2013 by margaux delotte-bennett

you must
greet the day
with the sheer majesty that it deserves

the sun and moon
did a somersault as they rotated into now
it was never promised to you
but you bore witness
thus requiring a measure of humble gratitude

your arms should be held wide
to embrace the opportunities
that will fall like diamonds
at your feet
shining products of darkness and pressure
cut
and refined

your eyes need to be
opened and stretched
so that they can take in the vision
that you are manifesting
with each blink
your lashes fashioned into paint brushes
that stroke the horizon
of your world

the life you hope for
will escape you
if you are not ready and willing
to welcome it today

I only speak this way because I know
I know



poem of the week: in memorium
August 10, 2013, 1:04 pm
Filed under: DC life, self reflection

i attended a friend’s funeral recently. it was awful. i have been unsuccessfully trying to write this piece for the last month.  after a burst of inspiration i wanted to complete this poem last weekend, but i wasn’t sure where it was going or what it was trying to say. today it worked its way through me and here it is.

 

when she told me you were gone
© 2013 by margaux delotte-bennett

the sadness wasn’t so heavy at first
it had been a while since we connected
only seeing your silly faces on facebook
hearing updates from time to time
fleeting thoughts about
needing to get together
needing to reconnect
coming and going from the forefront of my mind

the sadness wasn’t so heavy at first
but it started to gain weight
as thoughts about all of the dreams
that would go unfulfilled
all the laughter that would
no longer be shared
all the “you know I love you” admissions
that would no longer reach these ears
in your distinct voice

the sadness wasn’t so heavy at first
but it eventually knocked me down
shook my understanding to the core
forces salty hot tears
and whys
and hows
to escape my face nestled in my hands

I can’t imagine what you had been thinking
or the pain you might have been in
or the ways in which this life
forced you to give out
give up
give in
and allow the sadness to
permanently paint a brushstroke
across your memory
while taking all of our breath away
ours
for a moment
yours
for an eternity

the sadness wasn’t so heavy at first
but it now sits
and simmers
and stares into the part of my heat
where you will forever reside



napowrimo challenge: 3 of 30
April 3, 2013, 11:30 pm
Filed under: self reflection

 

what we are
© 2013 by margaux delotte-bennett

we are nothing more
than a collection of bubbles
bubbles of vibrating matter
pulled together in this moment
taking on this form in this time

light bounces off in ways
to show where we begin and end
through there is no real beginning
no certain end

we walk with measured steps
on soil that pushes up
as we tread down
walking away from here
as the clock passes now

wind moves around and through us
its shrieked release
a measure of our arrival
its gradual slowing
a conclusive shift
back to the source of
the collection of bubbles of vibrating matter
pulled together in this moment
taking on this form
in this time