Black & Kinky Amongst Brown Waves


’tis the season…
December 24, 2016, 12:31 am
Filed under: relationships, self reflection

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i love the holidays…
because we often make time to connect and reconnect with friends & family.  i have had some great friend dates over the last 2 days and i have scheduled more before the coming of the new year. i’m looking forward to the quality time but also the wonderful hugs because i know some people who give great hugs! touch is so vital and for many it can be scarce.  i found this article moving and true.  the article helped to inform this poem that i started about a week ago, but never finished.  it may still be unfinished, but at a place where it can be shared.

getting touchy
(c) 2016 by margaux delotte-bennett
you intuitively touched all the places where I feel shame
my hairy chin
my never flat belly
up my sides and down my back
soft with excess
your hands knew these areas more intimately than I do

dancing to
caressing from
at times making me want to run

I try to see me as you did
feel the me under your fingertips
no longer tense, but supple
no longer wrong, now perfect
no longer hidden in plain sight

it’s with fright that I realize
this shame was studied
well learned
earned from years of gazing upon
photoshopped curves and complexions
imperfections erased
redefined

but the fine lines of my stretch marks became your map
as you traced
the path to love without reservation
acceptance without clause

it’s what this body
deserved

reminders are always
well placed
well served

th-1

p.s. i had a conversation, that led to a poem, that led to this visual collaboration with a friend.  i meant to share it before, but there is no time like the present! -MDB

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december is about reflection and renewal
December 20, 2015, 12:42 pm
Filed under: love, relationships, self reflection

I was at a birthday brunch this weekend and someone said that they were looking forward to some reflection and renewal in the coming weeks. something inside of me said, “hooray! those are the words i’ve been searching for in this time of catching up, connecting, ordering and being still.” I hope that your holiday season is full of what you need, but that deep reflection and renewal are included for you and yours.

this poem is based on a true story and seems to fall under the ‘reflection’ category.  our dreams can teach us so much if we are able to tap into their magic…

be well!

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dream lessons while sleep talking
© 2015 by margaux delotte-bennett

you are haunting me in my dreams
the one I used to love

this morning I had to resist
joining lips to lips
the hushed and hungry whisper I once knew
and listened for
implored me for a kiss

one with the perfect pressure
that even my bones remember
cellular memory
elemental desire

I said no

I was firm

and once again
you wanted to know
why

why I could not give you what you desired
when you requested it

it was always about you
I see that now
I should have seen it then

and even my dream self knew my no
was a lie
denying what I used to
need
cellular desire
elemental memory

wants and needs are seldom
synonymous

your dream self wrote
something in the palm of my hand
closed it tight
I still don’t know what it was
or could be

yet as I awaken
my hand is open

it is open
like my heart
to new possibilities
that no longer
revolve around
you



from the other side of my moon
October 14, 2014, 6:29 am
Filed under: love, relationships

from the other side of my moon
(C) 2014 by margaux delotte-bennett

there is a cavern in my heart so still
that nothing can be said or done to fill

the yawning space that glistens with tears
reverently tended by me for too many years

I sit with the emptiness of lonely nights
and days of laughter tinged with fright

hoping the best of days have not all but passed
and mine is the heart quietly discarded for last



this weekend reminded me…
September 24, 2014, 12:37 am
Filed under: relationships, women

i was honored to participate in a beautiful wedding this past weekend and i am reading the divine secrets of the ya-ya sisterhood by rebecca wells.  spending time laughing and reconnecting with some amazing women reminded me of what i know to be true about friendship…

gathered in her name
© 2014 by margaux delotte-bennett

I have known the friendship of women

blood clot thick with devotion
sticky sweet and crusted over with care
a molded and sweaty mess of protection
runny nosed undivided attention

these are, “no time for pretty ribbons and lace” unions
companionship rites that query, “where do you need me to stash the body?”
Serious assertions of, “I can pee on them if you want me to “ love
led by legions
standing on feet rooted
beyond this space
way before and eons past this time

the friendship of women seldom comes easy
but what for the female bodied ever does?

there are sticks and pointed stones
broken hearts and howling moans
and tears
always a waterfall of tears
in euphoria and despair
and all that lies betwixt and between

some navigate this terrain with their kin
while others, like me, strike out to discovers sisterhood
in the star shine and shadows
because of and against the odds

I have seen women save lives
with a well placed hand on a heaving chest

women putting out fires
in boarded up houses
at dangerous intersections
in alleys splattered with blood

women sowing peace
with a pot of this
a pan of that
and don’t forget
a measured pinch and a squeeze

the woman
who truly knows the friendship of women
has steps ordered
and often checked
for their right direction
and their unapologetic audacity
to carry on.



a poem: intentions
February 25, 2014, 11:10 pm
Filed under: love, relationships

intentions
© 2014 by margaux delotte-bennett

I have never
intentionally
broken a glass

like I have never
intentionally
broken a heart

don’t know
if that is a testament
to my temperament
or my fear

things shattered with
conviction
are offensive

the clean up
more exhaustive

and the feelings
take so much longer
to fade

who really has time

for all that
mess?



a new poem: this heart
February 9, 2014, 3:15 pm
Filed under: love, relationships

this heart
© 2014 by margaux delotte-bennett

 

“the heart is the first organ to become fully formed in the human body” – Milagros Phillips

this heart beats
a rumble when full
when longing, a squeak

this heart cracks
seemingly whole & elastic,
spacious & vast

this heart breaks
at times lost & alone
giving more than it takes

this heart cries
gloom blocks out the light
filling chambers with sighs

this heart stands
holding space for the possible
giving maybe a chance

this hearts heals
fortified by its past
rooted in now to feel

this heart soars
holding tight to its dreams
slowly opening doors



poem of the week: how to be a second wife
November 3, 2013, 10:48 pm
Filed under: love, relationships, women

there is so much about this topic that I don’t understand as a woman who grew up in the west, as a product of a christian/ anglican/ episcopalian household, and as a person who has limited exposure to and experience with alternate relationship structures. There are many people defining and redefining how their love will work for them, but there are also a lot of people living lies and breaking hearts, including their own.  despite all that, I wanted to poetically explore the topic of polygamy and what it might mean to the subject of my poem…

 

how to be a second wife
© 2013 by margaux delotte-bennett

1.
be content with what is given
grateful for whatever more
might be shown
snugly wrap your heart in patience
each night

2.
know your place
in the order of priorities
and your station in life
understand that which is your lot
and your due
there is a lot of understanding
that will be expected of you

3.
resist the urge to be ‘right’
fail horribly at fighting
and always do what you ‘should’
ensuring that you are in constant alignment
with expectations imposed and
definitions that may not be
your own

4.
learn to cry
but only on the inside

5.
regardless of culture, custom or caste
believe that everyone ‘plays second…’ at some point
to career
to religion
to children and washing clothes
to lost loves
whether they be past
present or proposed

6.
forget that for some
being decidedly second is worse because
there is always a first
which means no room
to shift what is fixed

7.
learn new relationship math
where the binary is broken
and 1+1 adds up to 3 or more
while trying to protect your relationship
from devolving to
simply keeping score

8.
learn to smile
so that it can be seen
and believed