greetings.
things have once again been quiet around these parts, but I am writing and creating and living out in the world. i didn’t want this month to end without at least one post…
I just got off the phone with mum and rev (my stepdad), the two souls primarily responsible for all of the fathering i have receive throughout the years. earlier this year I lost a father figure, so I’m feeling reflective and grateful in this moment. I thanked my parents for their hard work and I shared this poem that I wrote for rev over the phone. it was well received. enjoy.
first father’s day
© 2016 by margaux delotte-bennett
I know the exact day that
you became my father
this was a big moment
because I had already known you
for years
I had lost the one who fathered me
when I was 2
not because of a physical death
but a relationship
withered and weary
eliciting tears before resting in peace
but that is another poem
for another time
I vividly remember the day you became
my father
not because
you loved our mother
and cherished our dog
you had already married
and moved in
and made our home
yours
you became my father
because when you had come to visit me with mum
that summer in DC
it was particularly hectic
another transgender woman had been murdered
those still homeless since Reagan closed the state institutions
were particularly aggressive
frighteningly hungry
and DC was it’s hot and sticky summer self
we drove by a crime scene
a man was dead and lying on the ground
I remember the echoing clack
of you automatically shutting all of the doors
swerving ever so slightly to the left
so less could be seen out of our
tightly closed windows
and I thought
oh
so this is what it means
to be the daughter
of a man
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Black & Kinky Amongst Brown Waves 