Black & Kinky Amongst Brown Waves

poem of the week: Saartjie state of mind…
May 20, 2011, 10:20 pm
Filed under: performance

i am currently reading the play Venus by Suzan-Lori Parks and really enjoying how from the start we are running out of time with our muse… we started at chapter 30 and we are going down, bit by bit, into infamy? into absurdity? into history? maybe all three?

this is a piece i wrote while thinking about Saartjie and the fact that there can be no spectacle without spectators. The

audience made the freak as much as the freak drew the audience. this is where those thoughts led me…

not long for this world: Saartjie’s early morning musings

(c) 2011 by margaux delotte-bennett

for the first time in ages
i want to be seen
i want to walk
from my platform
and into their waking dreams

i need their eyes
because i have never been able to see myself
in my looking glass
as completely as they see me
though they really only see what i show
and they imagine
it is as if beneath my very skin
that they search
and search

i had the most delicious vision last night
it was more like a visitation, it was

standing in the river
the smooth stones massaging my feet
and all i could see ahead of me were
so many bubbles
bubbles on the surface of the river
all of them floating and popping and
forming, rolling, dancing with each other
those bubbles they saw me
and their gaze seemed to call me
deeper into the river
i harkened their call
and the cool waters made way
slowly up my body

the strangest thing was happening
as my body was covered by water
it disappeared under the surface!

i had no feet
thighs, no more

no more

i became one with the bubbles and they
became one with me

i awoke just as the water was covering my shoulders, eh!

i am not so good at reading such visions
but it is clear to me
those bubbles were their eyes
and this body 
is not long for this hard world

and knowing this
i can stand a bit taller, like the elephant
stretch out my neck, like proud buffalo
plant my feel lightly, like blue buck
and dance my way through another day

today i want to be seen
in my heart
i know that it will not be
for too long


3 Comments so far
Leave a comment

such magical moments … i felt transported by this poem

Comment by ayende

LOVE THIS ONE! i see a short film for it 🙂
thank you for writing, dreaming, being you!

Comment by binah

❤ This may end up in our show 😉

Comment by Farah

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