we warrior healers…
© 2013 by margaux delotte-bennett
we have hands
forged like iron
burned and hammered into a grip
that does not yield
our lips spit fierce justice
and unquenchable fire
for tongues burdened with truth
are seldom light
when the only choices are
to be whole
or die
we can only step up and out of now
boldly into a tomorrow we made worth
every bit of today’s fight
to survive.
i found this poem on the back of another poem…
my liberated muse
© 2010 by margaux delotte-bennett
spiraling towards indefinable perfection
felt in the base of my womb
open to birthing all that is supposed to move through me
this day
this way
out of this shell
chipped from tripping
falling towards
a tomorrow unafraid to shine bright
strong
wholly connected
to the me
I’m supposed to be
without the fear true individuality
insights
can the fully realized me,
soft and pulsing with possibility,
make it out there
truly free?
yes, liberated one.
indeed.
i am currently celebrating my 36th year on this planet… for the next month! there is so much i am thankful for and i have created this list to remind me of the bounty that is my life:
36 things I am thankful for/ proud of (in no particular order):
- Two loving parents that I can shower with gifts
- A self published poetry book, and one on the way
- Poems published in 5 collections/ anthologies/ magazines
- A blog that I update weekly with new poetry
- Performances over the years in the Smithsonian Castle, Studio Theater, Lincoln Theater, Arena Stage, WOW Café Theatre, etc.
- 3 successful runs of my one woman show
- A social work license (moving up a level soon)
- A BA in political science and broadcast journalism, American University
- DJ and newscaster at WVAU, American University
- A MSW degree, Gallaudet University
- The ability to communicate in American Sign Language
- A job that I love and perform well at Sasha Bruce Youthwork
- Was able to get grant money renewed/ expanded
- A well used passport
- Friends that love me dearly
- A house that has everything that I originally wanted
- I have known true love
- Past and present membership in creative tribes (Sol y Soul, The Saartjie Project, Guerilla Poets’ Insurgency, Subdrift, etc)
- Savings in the bank
- Interned in India
- Created a volunteer service experience in South Africa
- Art teacher at St Christopher’s Shelter, South Africa
- Visited Australia when I was 20
- Freeing my tongue from fear, all of me is coming out
- Connection with my body and the dance found within
- Taking time for vacations
- Taking time for me
- Bronx Science Debate & Speech Team president
- Planning Auntie’s funeral and wrapping up her earthly affairs
- 10 years of volunteer service to Calvary Women’s Shelter
- Working with the women of the Young Women’s Drumming Empowerment Project
- Writing songs that express my truth
- Culinary creativity
- Wyoming Trek participants as a 13 year old Girl Scout
- Camp DeWolfe counselor
- College fashionista with the Polyester Liberation Organization
what I’m learning
© 2011 by margaux delotte-bennett
big heart in need of shelter
shelter from the rain
not shelter as in prison
but shelter as in come in
dry off
let me get you some tea
time for party games
whiling away the hours
am I ready to commit?
I am ready to commit?
but am I, I am…
scores of doors can open for a
big heart pumping bright
the love deserved
is the love served fully
given fully
wider than imagination
broader than the big heart in need of shelter
shelter from the rain
come
come
come again
big heart pump
push out of this chest
holding on to what was
what could have been
what will never be
me and mine
purpose in time as it passes
giving passage to
want
creating space for
earned
demanding
concern for all of the 4 chambers
working synchronistically
working in turn
tune
time
for me and mine
do I want to possess?
I want to possess?
but I do, do I…
going and knowing
new way of seeing
the old way of being
getting ready to
openly ask for
more
i feel like i have been meditating a lot on ‘longing’ and what it means in my life and in my body. as i write and share these pieces, i hope it frees up space to fully appreciate what i do have. ultimately that is my wish for me and for you!
open/ready
© 2011 by margaux delotte-bennett
my arms are open
ready to be filled
filled by 2 or more bodies
in need of comfort
in need of arms open
ready
my arms have been full
of books
and bags
groceries and flags
all manner and assortment of
stuff
but not bodies
bodies that know their place
can see their names etched
just below the surface
reserving their sacred space
in these arms
that are open
always open
and ready
right
on
time
untitled #42511
(c) 2011 by margaux delotte-bennett
where do you put them?
all those lies that you are fed about your worth?
the questions about why you are here,
your value and your purpose?
where do you put the belief that you are anything less than golden?
how do you stand tall
under the burden of being
black
female
young?
why do you rise from bed
when everything is trying to
convince you to stay put
under the covers
afraid
and
alone?
who pushes you forward
when everyone
everything seems to
conspire to hold you back?
i hope the answer is you.
“[we] know that we must live what we preach, [we must] embody in our habits of being the liberation we lay claim to for our collective body politic.” bell hooks, Salvation: Black People and Love
habit forming
© 2011 by margaux delotte-bennett
I am in the habit of expecting people to try harder and surpass their best
we have no time for mere trying
lives hang in the balance when we inch forward instead of leap
others are just being held to the standard I hold myself to
shine
risk
question
succeed, exceed, proceed
towards a tomorrow that is brighter than today
all seeds planted by a mother who was not supposed to have well adjusted children because of her limited resources and means of support
she did not know this
and neither did I
liberation has never been out of my grasp
I freely live a life that I define and redefine at whim
and in moments of doubt
when I question my power and my will
the bell tolls and hooks into my fear
while urging me on
One at Gala Theater on Wednesday night
(Walk with Me Art Happening:
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=124834077571209
)
and the other is on Saturday afternoon
(An Afternoon with Four Women:
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=160903260611073
).
As i perform out in the community, i also need to make sure that i am creating space for self care. This week’s poem is a reminder…
how to love a black woman © 2008 by margaux delotte-bennett
do you know how to love a black woman?
how to make her feel in control
with her hands behind her back
strong though all her lips are quivering
how to let her know that it is always her choice
to need you or not
feed you or not
concede to you being right
sometimes?
can you look into her eyes and be honest
even when it’s scary
allow her to weave you back together
when you’re already on the mend?
submit to her from above?
do you know how to love a black woman?
how to shower her with praise
just short of sounding obsessive
how to free her as you grip her tightly
around her face
shoulders
hands
waist or thighs
do you know how she sounds
when she’s angry, tired or sad
because you stayed by her side
while giving her room to vent, sit or simply be…
holding and honoring the space she’s in
without rushing out, over, or through the emotions
did you know that you needed to know how to love a black woman
because truly loving her, is like loving no one else…
i should be sleeping, but i want to try and post a poem each week by monday or tuesday. i have not been to sleep yet, so it is officially still tuesday in my body…
untitled (c) by margaux delotte-bennett
i feel like i am entering the age of invisibility
am i there and more dim?
am i here, but harder to see
b/c the ways that i be
are not right for this age
this stage in life
when the triumphs of my kids
or spouse
and 2 car garage house
make me seen
i must glean my accolades from the ones given to them
i should not shine
i should only please
i am in a time when a baby’s sneeze
should get more attention than my 2 degrees
but the only thing i’ve birthed these days
is a play
and a book of my poems
that i put to bed
as my soul still roams in search of my one
but the funny thing about me
is that i see myself as a mother, but seldom as a wife
marriage at this age might be plagued with strife
b/c i’m grown
independent
and a bit set in my ways
guess that’s why i’m firmly rooted in my invisible days…
it may be a warning to others, but also to me
what is is what is
and may continue to be
by sharing these thoughts with you
i feel there may be more to see
and in that knowing
i’m a little more free
